Friday, February 22, 2008

My Money, I blow it up, My Wish!

There has been a lot of debate recently over the social responsibilities of the Millionaires, Industrialists, Rich Sportsmen (ok apart from the Cricketers very few cricketers are rich! LOL! ) and so on. The media portrays them in poor light showing clips of their flamboyant parties, weddings and asking if they would ever contribute much to society in terms of charity, uplifting of the poor, their participation in social causes and stuff. thanks to this media portrayal, the issue of reservations to be allowed (in fact to be enforced by the Govt) in Private Enterprises is also seen as an appeasement of the poor and a way of giving back to the society by ruthlessly money minded capitalists.

Vijay Mallya, the liquor baron was interviewed once (i guess it was in Devil's Advocate in CNN IBN by Karan Thapar) and asked if he never thought about the millions of poor dying of hunger on the streets, of all the unemployed on the streets and stuff. He was like asked what he had done for all of them. To this, the man replied saying that he was a businessman first and that he works hard day and night to make money and that he has the right to spend it the way he wants to. The fact that his company provides job opportunities to many, suffices for his responsibility towards the unemployed. Because, he, as a single man has created jobs apart from making money himself is fair enough. As for his social responsibilities he need not go about beating the drums that he does charity. And moreover he pays huge amounts in tax to the Government which should be reason enough for him to perform his social duties. He said that because there are so many poor masses of people in this country, it doesn't require of him to change his lifestyle and live hypocritically.

The same holds true for IT professionals who are accused of spending lavishly on parties and pubs. Amitabh Bachchan is accused of not spending much on Maharashtra and Maharashtrians . Again the point remains that in all these cases, the people under scrutiny earn of their own hard work. They spend money that is rightfully theirs and are in no way a burden on the society. The whole purpose of earning money, making a living is to enjoy the small pleasures of life apart from sustaining the basic requirements of a livelihood. Who doesn't want to spend that extra to gain that fine moment of pleasure?

If there are poor despite millions of 'Yojnas' by the Govt, is the prosperous middle class to blame? Not everyone can inspired by Rang De Basanti and try to change things in the system (of course non violently). People need to satisfy themselves firstly. If i start making millions tomorrow, i would at first make sure that i satisfy my requirements of a nice posh home, of a strong financial security, of assuring the better future of my family and my parents. Only in the event of making surplus money would i venture into charity with full fledged intention. My taxes need to be used properly and that responsibility lies with the Govt. I am honest to the Organization where i work for, I am deemed a good employee. I don't cause nuisance to the public i am deemed a good citizen.

I don't think anyone needs to pass judgments on the way i live and dictate terms on where i should spend and how i should spend. The same holds true for all the IT professionals, Film Stars, Industrialists etc., The people who should be really judged should be politicians. They are the ones accountable to the public. Every function organized to felicitate Old warhorses in politics costs the exchequer a huge sum of money. Money that should be spent on public welfare funds is 'eaten up' by corrupt bureaucrats .Well we all know at lengths about the corrupt system. No point belaboring about it.To sum up, i would say that, its My money, i blow it up and thats my wish!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Of stars, stones, cards and lines

This is a superstitious country. Yes, I don’t really care if some ‘patriots’ accuse me of spoiling the country’s image! Hell! This is really a crazy nation that is fast forgetting the basic tenets of spirituality taught so deeply by our ancestors and instead is following Godmen, Astrologers, ‘Vastu’ experts, Tarot card readers and all those people who are actually making the working strata of society utterly jobless, and rendering them low on their self confidence! People now fail to believe in themselves and instead believe in some stones worn around their hands, on the throws of a pack of cards that have crazy looking pictures drawn on them.

My belief from all kinds of superstitions faded when I saw conflicting versions of my Horoscope. I mean there is this horoscope where I was told that I am a womanizer, a drunkard and an utterly worthless guy! Boy it took me 18 years to draw courage to talk to a gal! Believe me 18 years! Even now when I am surrounded by females I get freaked out. And there is this sheet of paper that’s supposedly my past, present and future based on the movements of a few stars! Nothing can be more degrading for Human spirit than this! Another horoscope said that I would live up to the age of 91, have a house by the age of 25 and have a peaceful life. How contradictory! And the astrologers are very quick in giving crappy reasons for these stupid papers.

I ask all people out there, should we, as worthy men let a few stars decide our destiny? What happens to the law of karma that has been told as the supreme tool of judgment in all our sacred texts? What happens to the concept of Bhakti? Are we knowingly following a set of people who are ‘Proxy-Gods’? Does the Western Society have anything like Horoscope? Aren’t they prosperous? Where has all this superstition got us to? We have been labeled as a nation of snake charmers, of mysticism, of chaos and of the occult! Do we really need such branding? What are we trying to do here by getting such labels? Attracting tourists?

High time people realize that all that matters is work and human spirit. We have been given a pair of eyes, ears, hands and legs. People do wonders without a pair of hands. History is witness to men who have boldly defined the course of civilization by sheer belief in their self and in their abilities. They aren’t the ones who sat at home waiting for the right time or rather ‘good’ time. Holy crap, the world will come to a standstill if the Wall Street follows ‘nalla neram’ and stuff!

The most atrocious of recent beliefs is the tarot card! Here are a pack of cards that hardly ever make sense. They have the pictures of strange looking beasts, objects and angel like things. The tarot card readers ask the client to throw them with their left hand (unbelievable considering what we generally do with the left hand ;)) and ask them to throw a few on the floor. And lo! Magic! Our future is right up in front! I tell them the same thing that Einstein exclaimed once, that God doesn’t play dice! Tarot cards invariably lead us to believe that God plays dice with our destiny!! God isn’t that cruel! He hasn’t given us the most superior brain among all species to play chances with our destiny!

I am also told that my first wife will die and that I will marry twice. Now does that mean I check up on the medical condition of my love that I want to marry and if it turns out to be negative I ditch her?? For the sake of money there is this fast growing group of people out there ready to cheat us till we are broke. And once we are really broke after constantly paying them, they would attribute it to bad luck! Stones that are a natural formation of rocks formed in river beds are worn on the fingers to bring good luck. And we call ourselves educated! And this is supposed to be the Technological age! I really pity all those who out there who really believe a magic would occur out of those stones. And those who don’t have hands don’t have future eh? Are they zombies?

People fail to understand that we need a developed, intellectual and an understanding society that needs to nurture men of caliber and potential to sustain humanity in the right direction. Not men who take each step on the basis of the motion of stars and on the color of the stones they ought to wear. The gypsies are a backward lot of people precisely for the same reason. It makes no difference between them and us if we stoop to such medieval beliefs.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Adventures of Pappu - Who moved my CAR?

The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

Eleventh standard was the worst period of my schooling. Hardly able to study for no good reason and barely managing to pass, I was finding respite in playing gully cricket! Often I would go to Jayram’s place and play with a few of the neighboring guys. Interruptions to our world class game of cricket. Vehicles would pass often and disrupt me from getting a duck quickly! LOL!

It so happened one day that a car belonging to one of the occupants of a flat in a near by building was parked directly above our stumps. Irritated at this we were contemplating calling the owner. With no idea of who the owner was, Pappu the great showed his adventurism. Dismissing others as scaredy cats and defying the pleas of our team mates I pushed the car away grunting as if I was Hulk!

Play began, and about half an hour later the owner of the car came up to us and asked who had moved the car. What fooled me was the half smile in his face. I felt maybe I had done him a great service by moving the car and avoiding the trouble he would have in starting the car and then moving it away. I proudly came up front and said with a big grin, “I did!” I was expecting applause, maybe a pat on the shoulder for my bravery although it was too far fetched! But no! this was one of those days were the saying ‘Neki kar, dariya me daal’ comes true! To mine and everyone’s surprise, that man turned red! He, realizing he can’t chumma blast a stranger like me, vented his anger at the watchman! “What do you think of yourself? How could you allow anyone to touch my car? Some bloke comes and moves my car and you sit there watching? I swear, I ll fire you if it happens the next time!” said that man and gave me the nastiest look I would ever get from anyone! Obviously the anger was ‘in’directed at me! He then said that moving the car with its gear in neutral will damage it! (Tsk tsk!) And that it was the most stupid thing to do to move it I neutral!

Holy crap! That car was just a Maruti 800! Hell! What’s the big deal? I should have asked that, but LOL! I gave a stupid grin and walked away…Boy and then I was the subject of ridicule all throughout the evening.

Sometimes even the great fall! So what? ;)

Adventures of Pappu - Miss Sharma

The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)


I hardly studied during my Eleventh standard (ok no big deal here! Noone does ;)) and I the reason was not that I was hooked on to some gal or something. I simply wasn’t able to concentrate!! My close friend Jaydev had left the school and others had been shifted to different classes thanks to different group of study. Thankfully there was Jayram with me and we shared a lot of great moments together in the last two years of our schooling. Now Jayram was this amazingly tall, lanky, down to earth guy with tremendous amount of ‘WORKING’ gray cells! Mine had ceased to work. LOL! This guy was attending IIT coaching classes at a time when I didn’t know what IIT was. I was that carefree and careless. And the humiliation I had to face every time Jayram would discuss doubts in physics seems damn funny now! Ha ha ha…I would simply shake my head pretending to understand. Gosh I was just not getting it right and was barely managing to pass.

Now there was this senior of mine by the surname of ‘Sharma’ (I wouldn’t name her) who was like a bombshell dropped on us. Too good to resist she would transport me (and of course Jayram) to the heavens every time she passed by us. Every Thursday 3rd period was her biology class and she would pass by. Smiling at times probably at some wit cracked by her friends, she would pass by only to have us arguing that she has apparently smiled at us! Boy! Jayram the brilliant guy he was would very smartly try to say that she was smiling at me (to encourage me, now that I was screwing up my academics). Now that thought was the only silver lining in the dark cloudy days of my eleventh standard.

Everything was fine until one day, Miss Sharma’s classmate, the head volunteer of the school (wouldn’t want to name him) came to my class and asked for a vivek. I was in a way glad because I felt important. Screw my stupid imaginations. He immediately, along with another guy took me to the toilet. Now this was scary. Did I surpass the normal standards of manhood? Was I giving him a complex? Even if I did, how did he know? All such of stupid thoughts came up in my asinine head. He dropped the bomb when he asked me, do I know Miss Sharma? And that why was I making a pass at her! Whoa! I was shocked! How did this guy knew I liked that gal? And hell I was not even considering making a pass at her! Had I been that smart I wouldn’t be sighing to myself every time she passed by.

He was menacing and intimidating. Before even I answered he began threatening of dire consequences! Earlier I was contemplating telling him proudly that I like that gal (he he he a la Romeo!). But all guts were quashed after hearing him threaten. Acting like the proper Padips I said I haven’t even heard that name. Thanks to the typical shamattu look in my face, he considered my plea. After coming to know that there had been a misunderstanding and that another vivek of another class was the culprit, he left me. But not before he asked me not to tell about it to anyone. I was more than glad to be left alone. LOL! I was happy the way I was. Uneventful, non descript.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Adventures of Pappu - When pappu had 11 siblings!


The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

EAST POINT SCHOOL, RANCHI: STANDARD 1
I was a boy who had just been transferred from De Nobli, Dhanbad and had come to this school to attend I standard at half term entry. My teacher, obviously curious to know about me (i was that sweet, an instant attraction ;) ) called me to her side and began asking my name and stuff. Now here comes the best part of the interview ;). She asked me, "tumhare kitne bhai behna hain?". And here comes the talent of Pappu! I instantly, and very proudly answered, "gyarah! "(11). Teacher was stunned, bamboozled, shocked, petrified, perplexed, panic stricken and what not! She immediately asked me, "sach me beta? tumhare 11 bhai behan hain??" obviously worried at the horrible family planning by my folks! Bihar is notoriously known for its poor family planning with people having 5-6 children at an average. Now Pappu had done the impossible by shocking the Mass reproductive Bihari!

Taught from my childhood that all my cousins are my brothers and sisters, i had this firmly etched in my brains that my brothers and sisters are the ones being born to all my relatives across this country. Poor pappu is a lone kid and so was happy to have so many added instantly :). I guess my folks taught me this thing so as to avoid any adolescent adventure with my female cousins when i grow up ;) LOL!

Continuing the story, i strongly replied "Haan Miss!" to my teacher's confirmation question. but this teacher wasn't going to give up. She tried a smarter question now, "Unka naam batao (give me their names)" and Pappu the great replies "Prashanth, Kishore, Bharat, Arti, Swati, Vibhushita...blah blah blah.."! All hell broke lose now! Teacher asked me what their ages were, and fortunately or unfortunately all of them were younger to me except kishore. And the younger ones were young enough to imagine proper births with proper age gap! :)This was like thunderbolt to the lady!

Dear Parents
Please meet me tomorrow before ten in the morning
This was written in the notes section of my school diary! She strictly asked me to call my parents the next day
. Pappu the great finding it strange that his parents were being called for no fault of his!

NEXT DAY
In come my parents with worried looks on their faces expecting some rather unexpected complain about me. Pleasantries exchanges, the lady got to the matter. The first question asked was "Kya aapne family planning nahi kiya?" (Haven't you done family planning?) This was like a nuclear bomb dropped on my parents. Poor they, they had stopped with one kid and here is a lady asking weird questions! Maybe more than one kid is family planning...maybe the rules have changed! Only after narrating the conversation that she had had with me, did my folks understand what was happening. Giving amused looks at me, my folks finally cleared the air of doubt! Phew! the teacher took a breath of relief and so did my folks!





Adventures of Pappu - When pappu wanted a new mom!


The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

Ok here is an incident that took place when I was 5 years old! Often there used to be advertisements on TV showing nice, soft, sweet moms caring for their kids, feeding them some stuff which was apparently nice for their growth! LOL! Ok and here was my mum who was very sweet, lovable but would feed me things that I detested those days (brinjal, bitterguard). And I used to get blasted for that! One day I couldn’t take it anymore. I shouted back at my mum saying you are a bad mum! And that all mums on TV are so good! My mum gaped back at me! And to add to her shock I said that I want a new mom!! And that am bored of you! LOL!! My folks looked at each other with a mix of amusement, shock, and the thought that the worst from me is yet to come..ha ha ha and the funniest part was that I started crying asking for a new mom! LOL! Thinking of that day, my mum and I still laugh our heads. Silent, naïve, shammattu pappu now becoming a rebel! But then it turned out to be jus a one time affair as I lost the rebel in me the next day. Guess I succumbed to the fact that my dad was too faithful to my mum; P ha ha ha…

Funny lines for showing ATTITUDE!

I was browsing through a community in Orkut named ‘Funny One liners’ where there were these damn crazy lines to show attitude! LOL! Hats off to all those guys churning out this stuff in their gray cells! Makes a good read!

  • I DON'T WALK AS IF I RULE THE WORLD......I WALK AS IF I DON'T CARE WHO RULES IT!!
  • I don’t care or think about the people in my past....there’s some reason why they didn’t make it to my future!!!
  • I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem!!!
  • You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway
  • Those of you who think you know it all are damn annoying to those of us who do!
  • You pull me down to your level, and then you beat me by experience!!
  • Mess With The Best..........
    Die Like The Rest!!!
  • Me & Ocean.....two deep dreams of god ...
  • Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures
  • Give some people an inch, and they think they are rulers
  • Maybe I don't have a superiority complex. maybe I am superior
  • God created man...rest all courtesy us...WE ENGINEERS...
  • Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat
  • Do Or Die OR do something to die!!!
  • My common sense....Your philosophy!!!!
  • It's not enough to succeed; others must fail
  • The more I meet people like you, the more I like myself
  • I am not environmental friendly but definitely want a friendly environment]
  • You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!!
  • I can multi-task (talk and piss you off at the same time)
  • Don’t blame gravity, If you fall for me....!!!
  • You don't have to be a nut to ask for a screw!
  • Me, a cool guy;
    You, a hot chick;
    how about thermal equilibrium !
  • I did not discover curves... I only uncovered them..!