THE UNCOMMON ORIGINS OF SOME COMMON EXPRESSIONS - All my Eye and Betty Martin!

In this series I will write the origins of some of the most common expressions of phrases that we use in ours day to day life. The facts given here are extracts from a book by the same name that I got long time back from Reader's Digest. I wholeheartedly thank the author 'John Kahn' for this amazing book of trivia

ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN

A rather old-fashioned way of expressing disbelief is to exclaim My Eye! A fuller and still more old fashioned expression is all my eye and Betty Martin. One theory is that this dismissive phrase originated in a garbled or mocking version of the Latin prayer to Saint Martin that begins with the words Ah mihi, beate Martini: 'Oh, to me, blessed Martin.' Perhaps Protestants in the old days scornfully distorted the line when referring to anything they considered to be superstitious nonsense or hocus-pocus.

The term hocus-pocus, incidentally, probably developed in much the same way, going back to a Protestant mimicry of the Roman Catholic Mass - the latin words of consecration begin Hoc est Corpus: 'This is the body'.

THE UNCOMMON ORIGINS OF SOME COMMON EXPRESSIONS - Acid Test

In this series I will write the origins of some of the most common expressions of phrases that we use in ours day to day life. The facts given here are extracts from a book by the same name that I got long time back from Reader's Digest. I wholeheartedly thank the author 'John Kahn' for this amazing book of trivia

ACID TEST

Any crucial or decisive test - whether of a soldier's courage or a motor car's suspension - is today referred to as an acid test.This phrase dates back to the early years of the 20th century. But what was the original acid test?

It was not, as might be supposed, a test of an acid's strength, or a test for the presence of an acid. It was a test by an acid - the test for trhe presence or amount of gold in a given metal object such as a ring or a spoon. The acid in question was nitric acid, which dissolves the base metals in an alloy but cannot dissolve gold. The test is still used by jewelers when making valuations or checking for forgeries.

Who is the Grasshopper and who is the Ant?

This was a mail i received and i found it irresistible to put it in my blog. Kudos to who ever has composed it
PS: First time I am posting something thats not mine :( But this was too good

However harsh it would be, it remains a fact and we need to take it with a pinch of salt

OLD VERSION

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant 's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant ' s house .

Medha Patkar and Tan Shyamoli goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers..

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act ' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant; fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes; its home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice ' .

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice' .

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.


NEW VERSION :

Many years later

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley .

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ....

because of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country!!!

Forget Tibet, Free Kashmir!

A lot of hue and cry has been raised over the protests by Tibetans against the autocratic rule of the Chinese. Human rights violation they say. A lot of Tibetan refugees in India are taking to the streets demanding action against China, asking the Indian Govt to intervene. Our good old take-law-into-our-own-hands media is being the Judge passing ridiculous judgment over how Tibet is being exploited and how India as an 'South Asian Superpower' should play a role and how Indians should stand solid against the Chinese atrocities. Send support smses they say, and our poor easily fooled public spends money for the cause of some people who don't even belong to this country and the media just finds another way to rake in profits.

Now, I ask, if China is having problems with Tibet, so be it. If Tibetans break rules, shoot at the police or even jump into wells who cares? We all know how sensitive China is with regard to Tibetan issue. It went on an all out war against us just because we sheltered the Dalai Lama. Thanks to it, we lost a great chunk of Arunachal Pradesh apart from numerous military posts being occupied. What did we gain? Dalai Lama is a celebrity all over the world. He goes about roaming the whole world, meeting big shots. And we got labeled as a perennial threat to the Chinese and in the process are in perennial threat from the Chinese. True, the Chinese can never be trusted but they at least do justice to their sovereign rights and maintain their policies no matter what.

If the Chinese strictly adhere to the policy of selling their products everywhere including India, whats wrong? They want to be global leader in manufacturing and do everything to make their presence felt. If Indian industries are being hit by the Chinese presence, why should the Chinese be blamed? They are practicing something they never advocate, Hard core capitalism.If we fail to capture our own markets then the problem lies with us and not the Chinese. We need to portray an image of a nation that never gives in petty emotions and strictly safeguards its borders. Our foreign policy is so weak, that who knows someday we might give away Assam and Kashmir to our illustrious neighbors to please them.

Everyone cries about human rights violation in Tibet. What about Kashmir? Who cares about the Kashmiri Pandits? Two million people made refugees in their own land. There is also a belief that Hinduism has its root in Kashmir, with Kashmir being mentioned many a times in the Vedas. There is a strong presence of Hinduism in Kashmir. Adi Shankaracharya himself came to Kashmir and even today there is a Shankaracharya temple in Srinagar. The word Hindu came from the river Sindhu (Indus) and the Sindhu Nadi is primarily in Kashmir. What have we done for Kashmir? Article 356 has literally made Kashmir an autonomous region. The region is highly militarized and the defense expenditure in Kashmir is escalating by the year. There is literally no productive output from Kashmir. Kashmiris are hardly represented anywhere in this country. Ironical because the whole Nehru family is one of Kashmiri Pandits. You will find even North Eastern people as air hostesses but how often do you come across a Kashmiri? Majority of them wouldn't have come even to the most visited city of Mumbai.

We keep having talks and deals with the Pakistanis but i believe i will be a grand dad and even then our Nation will be having 'Peace Talks' with Pakistan. Two Nations which fiercely protect their sovereignty are Israel and China. They would never tolerate intruders in their land. Chinese will intrude our posts in Sikkim and we would still deny all reports. All so as not to hurt our neighbor!! Our politicians will sell the nation in order to please every other nation in the world. Communists play a vital role here. I bet they would be feeling bad for the fact that Chinese don't play cricket.

The bottom line stays that Tibet and China can quarrel as long as they want to. we need not have any role to play. Support for Tibet would mean unnecessary diatribes with China. Charity begins at home they say, lets do charity in our country by doing something about Kashmir. Lets educate their mass. Let them never have the feeling that they belong to Pakistan. Lets secure our interests first! Let the media propagate the widespread injustice done to the Kashmiris. All Kashmiris regardless of their religion have suffered for six decades , violence, oppression, economic laxity and loss of identity. Let us do something for our own countrymen first!

Women's Day - A Sham

Women's Day - A Sham

Its that time of the year, Women's day or is it Woman's Day :P Seems like there is a coterie of women who flaunt themselves before the media every year for 'the cause of women'. Funny things is that, invariably it is the same coterie again and again every year. Any social event for Women's day is marked by appearances by 'Women who achieved great things in Society' like Preity Zinta, Nita Ambani, Smita Thackerey, Sharmila Tagore, Sweta Nanda Bachchan, Ekta Kapoor and so on. Now these faces will be the ones repeatedly shown with gleaming smiles, showering praises on the 'Woman of Today'. Aah...one must really applaud them for their efforts. You know why?

Nita Ambani - Wife of India's richest man, Mukesh Ambani. Was gifted a 240 Jet crore by her husband! They have so much wealth that they need to buy just to avoid taxes! Now, with so much of money at your disposal, you wouldn't expect the lady to be at home making roti and dal. After all, you cant be always called the Wife of Mukesh Ambani with no identity of yourself. So what do you do? You indulge in media watched charity. Now charity is good no doubts but does it involve any sort of labour or effort on this lady's side? She has money that she doesn't know what to do with. She just has to dispose them! Hell and she gets awarded for that!

Priety Zinta - She made only movie last year and that too flopped badly at the box office. An affair with Ness Wadia, the heir of the wadia group would only mean social status and money. More glamor, more media outings, more media glare. Crores being spent on their IPL team, Chandigarh and all whose money? Well, investors, wadia group etc...What did she have to do? Wear big sunglasses and power suits and talk to the media as if they have just conquered Mars.

Ekta Kapoor - Daughter of Jitendra 'Jumping Jack'. Lots of family money. I don't say she has not become the boss of Indian Television out of nothing. She has done her bit of hard work. But then, give me all the backing her father gave in terms of finance and contacts and i would have achieved the same.

The other women you guys should know. Sweta Nanda Bachchan, the daughter of the biggest superstar of Indian Cinema, Amitach Bachchan and wife of Nikhil Nanda (grandson of Raj Kapoor). Do i even need to comment? Smita Thackerey, the Daughter in law of Shiv Sena supremo, Bal Thackerey has so much power at her disposal that big cinema stars stoop to being servile before her. See filmfare award functions and every single award recipient would thank her for achieving the award ! Beats me! How is smita thackerey involved in their achieving an award?? Sharmila Tagore, needless to say was and has always been in an environment of prosperity. One should see the horse races she and her husband, the Nawab of Pataudi indulge in

So, looking at all these, one wonders where is the real woman of India? One who languishes behind veils, one who works day in and day out in households as a maid earning as little as youngsters like me spend on coke a month. Where is the woman is struggling in construction sites carrying heavy loads, facing abuses of fellow men and making sure her kids have a meal to eat everyday. Where is the woman who is struggling to create an identity for herself when she tries to get a job as conductor or a driver of a bus in a highly male domain. Where is that woman who sells Idlys to make her son study at IIM?

More and more women opt for divorce and many indulge in extra marital affairs says the newspaper. The changing face of the modern woman it says. Boldness they say. Is boldness all about snapping relations and being infidel? Is that all is there to a woman? Does breaking the bastions of a male dominated society mean infidelity and intolerance to relations? Is the partying, boozing woman of today the new face of women?

There are women out there who break all odds to bring their family our of poverty by making remarkable achievements like the World Carrom Champion Ilavazhagi for whom everyday survival is a battle. They have to literally plead for attention whereas the rest, affluent go away with all laurels and applauds. Who is the real achiever? The lady who despite her husband's demise makes a good citizen of her son. The lady who sustains various complexities of her in laws and still manages to keep the family in one piece. Let us salute that woman and value her and not make a mockery of 'Women's Day'

Every day is to be a woman's day. They, as humans have equal right as all men. They have equal share in enjoying life as much as men do. The whole concept of a Women's day is a sham when political parties come out asking for a reservation for women in the parliament for reasons only they know. Why should transport authorities have women drivers only on Women's day? Why should Kingfisher Airlines and Air India have an all women crew only on this day? It is like saying, "Ok thank you for giving this day exclusively for us. The rest of the year is for you men". Let us stop demeaning women with such a 'Day'

My Money, I blow it up, My Wish!

There has been a lot of debate recently over the social responsibilities of the Millionaires, Industrialists, Rich Sportsmen (ok apart from the Cricketers very few cricketers are rich! LOL! ) and so on. The media portrays them in poor light showing clips of their flamboyant parties, weddings and asking if they would ever contribute much to society in terms of charity, uplifting of the poor, their participation in social causes and stuff. thanks to this media portrayal, the issue of reservations to be allowed (in fact to be enforced by the Govt) in Private Enterprises is also seen as an appeasement of the poor and a way of giving back to the society by ruthlessly money minded capitalists.

Vijay Mallya, the liquor baron was interviewed once (i guess it was in Devil's Advocate in CNN IBN by Karan Thapar) and asked if he never thought about the millions of poor dying of hunger on the streets, of all the unemployed on the streets and stuff. He was like asked what he had done for all of them. To this, the man replied saying that he was a businessman first and that he works hard day and night to make money and that he has the right to spend it the way he wants to. The fact that his company provides job opportunities to many, suffices for his responsibility towards the unemployed. Because, he, as a single man has created jobs apart from making money himself is fair enough. As for his social responsibilities he need not go about beating the drums that he does charity. And moreover he pays huge amounts in tax to the Government which should be reason enough for him to perform his social duties. He said that because there are so many poor masses of people in this country, it doesn't require of him to change his lifestyle and live hypocritically.

The same holds true for IT professionals who are accused of spending lavishly on parties and pubs. Amitabh Bachchan is accused of not spending much on Maharashtra and Maharashtrians . Again the point remains that in all these cases, the people under scrutiny earn of their own hard work. They spend money that is rightfully theirs and are in no way a burden on the society. The whole purpose of earning money, making a living is to enjoy the small pleasures of life apart from sustaining the basic requirements of a livelihood. Who doesn't want to spend that extra to gain that fine moment of pleasure?

If there are poor despite millions of 'Yojnas' by the Govt, is the prosperous middle class to blame? Not everyone can inspired by Rang De Basanti and try to change things in the system (of course non violently). People need to satisfy themselves firstly. If i start making millions tomorrow, i would at first make sure that i satisfy my requirements of a nice posh home, of a strong financial security, of assuring the better future of my family and my parents. Only in the event of making surplus money would i venture into charity with full fledged intention. My taxes need to be used properly and that responsibility lies with the Govt. I am honest to the Organization where i work for, I am deemed a good employee. I don't cause nuisance to the public i am deemed a good citizen.

I don't think anyone needs to pass judgments on the way i live and dictate terms on where i should spend and how i should spend. The same holds true for all the IT professionals, Film Stars, Industrialists etc., The people who should be really judged should be politicians. They are the ones accountable to the public. Every function organized to felicitate Old warhorses in politics costs the exchequer a huge sum of money. Money that should be spent on public welfare funds is 'eaten up' by corrupt bureaucrats .Well we all know at lengths about the corrupt system. No point belaboring about it.To sum up, i would say that, its My money, i blow it up and thats my wish!

Of stars, stones, cards and lines

This is a superstitious country. Yes, I don’t really care if some ‘patriots’ accuse me of spoiling the country’s image! Hell! This is really a crazy nation that is fast forgetting the basic tenets of spirituality taught so deeply by our ancestors and instead is following Godmen, Astrologers, ‘Vastu’ experts, Tarot card readers and all those people who are actually making the working strata of society utterly jobless, and rendering them low on their self confidence! People now fail to believe in themselves and instead believe in some stones worn around their hands, on the throws of a pack of cards that have crazy looking pictures drawn on them.

My belief from all kinds of superstitions faded when I saw conflicting versions of my Horoscope. I mean there is this horoscope where I was told that I am a womanizer, a drunkard and an utterly worthless guy! Boy it took me 18 years to draw courage to talk to a gal! Believe me 18 years! Even now when I am surrounded by females I get freaked out. And there is this sheet of paper that’s supposedly my past, present and future based on the movements of a few stars! Nothing can be more degrading for Human spirit than this! Another horoscope said that I would live up to the age of 91, have a house by the age of 25 and have a peaceful life. How contradictory! And the astrologers are very quick in giving crappy reasons for these stupid papers.

I ask all people out there, should we, as worthy men let a few stars decide our destiny? What happens to the law of karma that has been told as the supreme tool of judgment in all our sacred texts? What happens to the concept of Bhakti? Are we knowingly following a set of people who are ‘Proxy-Gods’? Does the Western Society have anything like Horoscope? Aren’t they prosperous? Where has all this superstition got us to? We have been labeled as a nation of snake charmers, of mysticism, of chaos and of the occult! Do we really need such branding? What are we trying to do here by getting such labels? Attracting tourists?

High time people realize that all that matters is work and human spirit. We have been given a pair of eyes, ears, hands and legs. People do wonders without a pair of hands. History is witness to men who have boldly defined the course of civilization by sheer belief in their self and in their abilities. They aren’t the ones who sat at home waiting for the right time or rather ‘good’ time. Holy crap, the world will come to a standstill if the Wall Street follows ‘nalla neram’ and stuff!

The most atrocious of recent beliefs is the tarot card! Here are a pack of cards that hardly ever make sense. They have the pictures of strange looking beasts, objects and angel like things. The tarot card readers ask the client to throw them with their left hand (unbelievable considering what we generally do with the left hand ;)) and ask them to throw a few on the floor. And lo! Magic! Our future is right up in front! I tell them the same thing that Einstein exclaimed once, that God doesn’t play dice! Tarot cards invariably lead us to believe that God plays dice with our destiny!! God isn’t that cruel! He hasn’t given us the most superior brain among all species to play chances with our destiny!

I am also told that my first wife will die and that I will marry twice. Now does that mean I check up on the medical condition of my love that I want to marry and if it turns out to be negative I ditch her?? For the sake of money there is this fast growing group of people out there ready to cheat us till we are broke. And once we are really broke after constantly paying them, they would attribute it to bad luck! Stones that are a natural formation of rocks formed in river beds are worn on the fingers to bring good luck. And we call ourselves educated! And this is supposed to be the Technological age! I really pity all those who out there who really believe a magic would occur out of those stones. And those who don’t have hands don’t have future eh? Are they zombies?

People fail to understand that we need a developed, intellectual and an understanding society that needs to nurture men of caliber and potential to sustain humanity in the right direction. Not men who take each step on the basis of the motion of stars and on the color of the stones they ought to wear. The gypsies are a backward lot of people precisely for the same reason. It makes no difference between them and us if we stoop to such medieval beliefs.

Adventures of Pappu - Who moved my CAR?

The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

Eleventh standard was the worst period of my schooling. Hardly able to study for no good reason and barely managing to pass, I was finding respite in playing gully cricket! Often I would go to Jayram’s place and play with a few of the neighboring guys. Interruptions to our world class game of cricket. Vehicles would pass often and disrupt me from getting a duck quickly! LOL!

It so happened one day that a car belonging to one of the occupants of a flat in a near by building was parked directly above our stumps. Irritated at this we were contemplating calling the owner. With no idea of who the owner was, Pappu the great showed his adventurism. Dismissing others as scaredy cats and defying the pleas of our team mates I pushed the car away grunting as if I was Hulk!

Play began, and about half an hour later the owner of the car came up to us and asked who had moved the car. What fooled me was the half smile in his face. I felt maybe I had done him a great service by moving the car and avoiding the trouble he would have in starting the car and then moving it away. I proudly came up front and said with a big grin, “I did!” I was expecting applause, maybe a pat on the shoulder for my bravery although it was too far fetched! But no! this was one of those days were the saying ‘Neki kar, dariya me daal’ comes true! To mine and everyone’s surprise, that man turned red! He, realizing he can’t chumma blast a stranger like me, vented his anger at the watchman! “What do you think of yourself? How could you allow anyone to touch my car? Some bloke comes and moves my car and you sit there watching? I swear, I ll fire you if it happens the next time!” said that man and gave me the nastiest look I would ever get from anyone! Obviously the anger was ‘in’directed at me! He then said that moving the car with its gear in neutral will damage it! (Tsk tsk!) And that it was the most stupid thing to do to move it I neutral!

Holy crap! That car was just a Maruti 800! Hell! What’s the big deal? I should have asked that, but LOL! I gave a stupid grin and walked away…Boy and then I was the subject of ridicule all throughout the evening.

Sometimes even the great fall! So what? ;)

Adventures of Pappu - Miss Sharma

The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

I hardly studied during my Eleventh standard (ok no big deal here! Noone does ;)) and I the reason was not that I was hooked on to some gal or something. I simply wasn’t able to concentrate!! My close friend Jaydev had left the school and others had been shifted to different classes thanks to different group of study. Thankfully there was Jayram with me and we shared a lot of great moments together in the last two years of our schooling. Now Jayram was this amazingly tall, lanky, down to earth guy with tremendous amount of ‘WORKING’ gray cells! Mine had ceased to work. LOL! This guy was attending IIT coaching classes at a time when I didn’t know what IIT was. I was that carefree and careless. And the humiliation I had to face every time Jayram would discuss doubts in physics seems damn funny now! Ha ha ha…I would simply shake my head pretending to understand. Gosh I was just not getting it right and was barely managing to pass.

Now there was this senior of mine by the surname of ‘Sharma’ (I wouldn’t name her) who was like a bombshell dropped on us. Too good to resist she would transport me (and of course Jayram) to the heavens every time she passed by us. Every Thursday 3rd period was her biology class and she would pass by. Smiling at times probably at some wit cracked by her friends, she would pass by only to have us arguing that she has apparently smiled at us! Boy! Jayram the brilliant guy he was would very smartly try to say that she was smiling at me (to encourage me, now that I was screwing up my academics). Now that thought was the only silver lining in the dark cloudy days of my eleventh standard.

Everything was fine until one day, Miss Sharma’s classmate, the head volunteer of the school (wouldn’t want to name him) came to my class and asked for a vivek. I was in a way glad because I felt important. Screw my stupid imaginations. He immediately, along with another guy took me to the toilet. Now this was scary. Did I surpass the normal standards of manhood? Was I giving him a complex? Even if I did, how did he know? All such of stupid thoughts came up in my asinine head. He dropped the bomb when he asked me, do I know Miss Sharma? And that why was I making a pass at her! Whoa! I was shocked! How did this guy knew I liked that gal? And hell I was not even considering making a pass at her! Had I been that smart I wouldn’t be sighing to myself every time she passed by.

He was menacing and intimidating. Before even I answered he began threatening of dire consequences! Earlier I was contemplating telling him proudly that I like that gal (he he he a la Romeo!). But all guts were quashed after hearing him threaten. Acting like the proper Padips I said I haven’t even heard that name. Thanks to the typical shamattu look in my face, he considered my plea. After coming to know that there had been a misunderstanding and that another vivek of another class was the culprit, he left me. But not before he asked me not to tell about it to anyone. I was more than glad to be left alone. LOL! I was happy the way I was. Uneventful, non descript.

Adventures of Pappu - When pappu had 11 siblings!

The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

EAST POINT SCHOOL, RANCHI: STANDARD 1
I was a boy who had just been transferred from De Nobli, Dhanbad and had come to this school to attend I standard at half term entry. My teacher, obviously curious to know about me (i was that sweet, an instant attraction ;) ) called me to her side and began asking my name and stuff. Now here comes the best part of the interview ;). She asked me, "tumhare kitne bhai behna hain?". And here comes the talent of Pappu! I instantly, and very proudly answered, "gyarah! "(11). Teacher was stunned, bamboozled, shocked, petrified, perplexed, panic stricken and what not! She immediately asked me, "sach me beta? tumhare 11 bhai behan hain??" obviously worried at the horrible family planning by my folks! Bihar is notoriously known for its poor family planning with people having 5-6 children at an average. Now Pappu had done the impossible by shocking the Mass reproductive Bihari!

Taught from my childhood that all my cousins are my brothers and sisters, i had this firmly etched in my brains that my brothers and sisters are the ones being born to all my relatives across this country. Poor pappu is a lone kid and so was happy to have so many added instantly :). I guess my folks taught me this thing so as to avoid any adolescent adventure with my female cousins when i grow up ;) LOL!

Continuing the story, i strongly replied "Haan Miss!" to my teacher's confirmation question. but this teacher wasn't going to give up. She tried a smarter question now, "Unka naam batao (give me their names)" and Pappu the great replies "Prashanth, Kishore, Bharat, Arti, Swati, Vibhushita...blah blah blah.."! All hell broke lose now! Teacher asked me what their ages were, and fortunately or unfortunately all of them were younger to me except kishore. And the younger ones were young enough to imagine proper births with proper age gap! :)This was like thunderbolt to the lady!

Dear Parents
Please meet me tomorrow before ten in the morning
This was written in the notes section of my school diary! She strictly asked me to call my parents the next day. Pappu the great finding it strange that his parents were being called for no fault of his!

NEXT DAY
In come my parents with worried looks on their faces expecting some rather unexpected complain about me. Pleasantries exchanges, the lady got to the matter. The first question asked was "Kya aapne family planning nahi kiya?" (Haven't you done family planning?) This was like a nuclear bomb dropped on my parents. Poor they, they had stopped with one kid and here is a lady asking weird questions! Maybe more than one kid is family planning...maybe the rules have changed! Only after narrating the conversation that she had had with me, did my folks understand what was happening. Giving amused looks at me, my folks finally cleared the air of doubt! Phew! the teacher took a breath of relief and so did my folks!

Adventures of Pappu - When pappu wanted a new mom!

The adventures of Pappu is a new series of amusing events from my life – a la Tintin (ok am not some bigshot here! Nevertheless am giving myself the opportunity to be on the same plane as Tintin although Tintin’s adventures are much more interesting and mind boggling ;)

Ok here is an incident that took place when I was 5 years old! Often there used to be advertisements on TV showing nice, soft, sweet moms caring for their kids, feeding them some stuff which was apparently nice for their growth! LOL! Ok and here was my mum who was very sweet, lovable but would feed me things that I detested those days (brinjal, bitterguard). And I used to get blasted for that! One day I couldn’t take it anymore. I shouted back at my mum saying you are a bad mum! And that all mums on TV are so good! My mum gaped back at me! And to add to her shock I said that I want a new mom!! And that am bored of you! LOL!! My folks looked at each other with a mix of amusement, shock, and the thought that the worst from me is yet to come..ha ha ha and the funniest part was that I started crying asking for a new mom! LOL! Thinking of that day, my mum and I still laugh our heads. Silent, naïve, shammattu pappu now becoming a rebel! But then it turned out to be jus a one time affair as I lost the rebel in me the next day. Guess I succumbed to the fact that my dad was too faithful to my mum; P ha ha ha…

Funny lines for showing ATTITUDE!

I was browsing through a community in Orkut named ‘Funny One liners’ where there were these damn crazy lines to show attitude! LOL! Hats off to all those guys churning out this stuff in their gray cells! Makes a good read!

• I DON'T WALK AS IF I RULE THE WORLD......I WALK AS IF I DON'T CARE WHO RULES IT!!
• I don’t care or think about the people in my past....there’s some reason why they didn’t make it to my future!!!
• I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem!!!
• You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway
• Those of you who think you know it all are damn annoying to those of us who do!
• You pull me down to your level, and then you beat me by experience!!
• Mess With The Best..........
  Die Like The Rest!!!
• Me & Ocean.....two deep dreams of god ...
• Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures
• Give some people an inch, and they think they are rulers
• Maybe I don't have a superiority complex. maybe I am superior
• God created man...rest all courtesy us...WE ENGINEERS...
• Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat
• Do Or Die OR do something to die!!!
• My common sense....Your philosophy!!!!
• It's not enough to succeed; others must fail
• The more I meet people like you, the more I like myself
• I am not environmental friendly but definitely want a friendly environment]
• You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!!
• I can multi-task (talk and piss you off at the same time)
• Don’t blame gravity, If you fall for me....!!!
• You don't have to be a nut to ask for a screw!
• Me, a cool guy;
  You, a hot chick;
  how about thermal equilibrium !
• I did not discover curves... I only uncovered them..!